Our partners are not mind readers, they can’t transport into our minds and automatically know what we want or need in our relationships. So how do we get our needs met if we don’t communicate them to our sexual partners. It is our responsibility to our sexual health to share what we like, what we don’t like, our needs and our wants. If you like it a little deeper, a little softer, with barriers, or getting squishy (sex) from behind, we must communicate that to our partners. In the same vein, if there are activities that your partner wants you to do that feel unsafe, hurt you, you feel violated or humiliated then it is your responsibility to discuss how you don’t like those activities and try to find a safe, healthy compromise or discontinue that relationship.
Communicating our needs and wants in our relationships, don’t only involve discussing squishy but your emotional needs as well. Talking with our partners about our emotional needs can be challenging sometimes because we aren’t all taught to share or discuss our feelings. We do communicate nonverbally as well by giving the side eye, not following through with what we said we are going to do or not saying what it is we actually need but having an attitude about it. We have to find ways to regularly communicate to your partner about what makes us happy. For instance, holding hands when walking down the street makes me feel seen or when I am sad I just need you to wrap your arms around me and help me feel safe. Another example is communicating that you only want to use barriers when we are getting squishy (sex) to protect your sexual health or as you read in one of my last blogs that you have to have the same definition of monogamy. Getting our needs met isn’t always easy or comfortable, but we must share with our partners so they know how to meet them. #squishytalk
SquishyLady
Original Post: Nov 6, 2015 @ 06:43